My Existence

I have a long standing rule of having never, and will never buy flowers - for anyone.  I can see picking them for a special someone, but I will not spent money on something that dies, or is FAKE!  My girlfriend knows this, and of course isn’t happy with it because she wants flowers.  Apparently, the single act of buying a female flowers means you love them.  So I could buy flowers, and while handing them to her say “I don’t love you.” and be all set, right?

My question:  Why?  What exactly do flowers do other than sit there, smell nice *only* when extremely close, and then die in a very short while?  I am told by many ladies, that it is the thought that counts.  Well, then how come I can’t just think it and be done with it?  Obviously, it is NOT just the thought that counts or I could very easily say “I thought about getting you flowers today.”

That of course, wouldn’t go over well, because it isn’t just the thought that counts.  I got flowers from work yesterday, anytime there is a destroy order on a package, it usually gets opened and if there is something inside people want, they are allowed to take it in most cases.  Well, yesterday one of those came through for an order of flowers.  I asked if I could have a few for my girlfriend, was told yes.  I won’t buy them, but I am not opposed to getting some free ones.

Bring them into her, and what do I get?  Not a thank you, or a hug, or anything showing appreciation or gratitude, but a “Where did you get those from, someone else?”  I stand there for a moment, sigh my famous sigh and simply say “You know, pretty soon you are going to be living on the streets.” I walk over to the sink, crush the flowers in my hand and let them sit in the sink.

A few minutes later I am in my room, I hear the sink turning on and she is doing some dishes and offering to make me dinner.  Funny how the need to threaten her gets her motivated into doing SOMETHING other than sitting there playing video games or watching movies.  I don’t mind supporting her, but when I come home I don’t want to be bothered by having to take out the trash or doing any dishes, or nothing.

And I certainly don’t want that kind of attitude or response from her when I do something nice for her.  At the rate I get accused of being with other ladies, I may as well be so I’m not missing out on any fun in the meantime.  Cause I sure as hell am not getting anything from her.