My Existence

I sit here at my computer, listening to the few songs I like..as I think about going to bed and what it entails.

Dreading the start of another day, another day in which my question goes unanswered, my mind goes uncalmed. Another day in which my heart may open to another soul, feel their pain and their love with life. I dont really want that, Im hurt enough with the pain of friends as they lean on me…use me as the Shoulder to cry on, the Ear that listens, the Hand to guide, the Heart to heal, or the Mind to solve. Im burdened enough already, but yet no matter how much pain I feel through and with them…I will always help one in need.

So now Im going to leave, do my pushups/situps..and crawl into bed, all for

Another day.

..and so I start an online journal, for a close friend of mine. Who has since deleted hers it would seem ::sighs:: Must talk with her and find out why before I give up on this as well. I’m already against it…I don’t like what I write in journals, I’m praying something will keep me from writing in here like I do in others..only time will tell.